Clusterfuck

The title of this post should be pretty accurate. I haven't had a lot of time to write lately, so this will be a mix of all kinds of things that have been going on. Ready 1, 2, 3, GO!

I have now lost the main support person in my life. He was one of my best friends and I don't really know what I'm going to do without him, but us not speaking is what's best for us right now. It's going to be tough. Very tough. We talked every day and he knows how my family is. He was always a big support and helped with things they wouldn't, which is pretty much everything. Lately, all of that has changed into arguments and name calling. I can't be called names or accused of things anymore. I already have so much on my plate. I need to be able to focus on the good things. So I guess I am following my last post. I've got to surround myself with positive, uplifting people and he can't be that for me right now. I know he wants to, but he just can't. So we have to separate and not speak for however long. I hope he can figure things out for himself while I am trying to do the same.

More than you know

On the school front, I have been absolutely slammed with homework and tests. This last week, I had 4 tests! I was supposed to have 5, but one of them got moved to this week. Today actually. I have another test tomorrow and I think I might have one on Thursday as well. This is frickin' nuts! I got my scores back for all of the tests I took last week and they are less than impressive. 

Animal A & P: 74%

Animal A & P Lab: 76%

Human Relations: 86%

Intro to Vet Tech Lab: 73%

:( I'm already busting ass and apparently I need to work even harder. I need someone to help me study and whip me into shape. So if anyone would like to be my studying partner... I'm thinking along the lines of Billy Madison. Strip studying, if you will. Hahaha jk. Or am I? :)

I started using a website call Lumosity. It's a bunch of games that are supposed to help with brain power and focusing. I've been doing it for over a week now and I really like it. They keep track of your scores and show the progress you're making throughout the weeks. It's really neat and I would highly recommend that others try it. I seriously want to buy a subscription to the website. You get to play more games that way and build a more complete profile. I'm hoping it will possibly help with school stuff. Teach me how to focus better, use my brain more efficiently. I guess we'll see if it works!

Also, my birthday is coming up in a couple weeks. I'm not sure what I'd like to do yet. So if anyone can think of an amazing, awesome idea, throw it at me! I also think I'm going to celebrate the weekend before and after. Why, you ask? Because I fucking can! I'm going to celebrate the weekend before because it's Valentine's weekend and, well, that weekend usually blows for me. So I'm going to spend it drinking and hating all of the happy couples around me. I might even throw some stuff and yell some inappropriate things. Needless to say, I'm going to be a blast on my birthday and you probably shouldn't miss it. :) Unless some handsome gentleman would like to sweep me off of my feet and take me on an amazing date/trip... then I'd be willing to give up my booze fit. 

With my birthday also comes the anniversary of Casey's passing. I still miss my baby so much everyday. I look at her pictures everyday and have even mistakenly called Mowgli by her name a few times. Old habits really do die hard I guess. So two days after Valentine's Day, and two days before my birthday, I will probably be a bit of a mess. I might need some cheering up that day. Or maybe I'll stay in bed. I guess we'll have to see. 

For my Casey

So now I leave you, so I can go study. Or sleep. I'm doing more of the former than the latter lately. :( And I'm exhausted. At some point, I am just going to collapse in the hallways and tell someone to bring me a pillow. Fuck it. I'll sleep right here. 

My woman!

Feeling this song right now