I'm not even half way through this book yet and it's been amazing. He covers every angle he possibly can in this book. He tells his story along with the stories of others he's come into contact with, but he also speaks about different treatments and alternatives to medication. Even if he personally does not think it works, he included it because it could possibly work for someone else.
I was interested to read that food allergies can actually trigger a depressive episode. That was something I didn't know before. He also talked about the effects of having your blood sugar going up and down throughout the day. By trying to use quick fixes of sweets and junk food, this causes sleep problems. It also wears down your coping ability and your patience and you are less tolerant of people. He says that people with this syndrome are tired all the time, lose their sex drive and ache all over. He also goes into detail about which specific vitamins are good to help relieve some depressive symptoms, including postpartum. Very interesting stuff to know. Especially if someone doesn't want to go on medication.
There is a specific story that he writes about that I can really relate to. He speaks to a woman about her life struggles and what she has gone through. I mostly related to the situation she described with her husband. I'm going to type the whole passage here. It's definitely worth reading.
Change, even positive change, is stressful; and marriage is one of the most enormous changes you can make. Problems that had begun before the wedding worsened soon after it. Claudia believed the trouble was with her husband; it took quite a while for her to accept that her situation might be symptomatic. "He was actually more worried about me and my future than I was. During my wedding day, everyone remembers me happy. I look happy in the pictures. But I went through the whole day feeling I should be in love, I should really be in love if I'm doing this. And I felt like a lamb going to the slaughter. My wedding night, I was just exhausted. And our honeymoon was frankly disastrous. I had nothing nice to say to him the entire trip. I didn't want to be with him; I didn't want to look at him. We tried to have sex and it was painful for me and it just didn't work. I could see how in love he was. And I just thought, I can't believe this. I thought it would be different. And I felt miserable at the thought that I had ruined his life and broken his heart."
In late September, she returned to the homeopathic regimen. It had been stabilizing, but it couldn't lift her out of what had become a truly acute depression. "I'd be at work," she recalls, "and all of a sudden I'd feel like I was about to have a breakdown and cry. I was so worried I'd act in an unprofessional way that I could only just do my job. I'd have to just excuse myself and say I had a headache and had to leave the office for the day. I hated everything; I hated my life. I wanted a divorce or an annulment. I felt I had no friends; I felt I had no future. I had made this terrible mistake. I thought, my God, what are we going to talk about for the rest of our lives? We're going to have to have dinner together, and what are we going to say? I've nothing to say anymore. And he of course felt it was all his fault and had huge self-loathing and he didn't want to shave or go to work or anything. I was not nice to him and I know it. He was trying very hard and just had no idea what to do. Nothing he could have done would have been right to me, no matter what it was. But I didn't see that at the time. I would tell him to go away, that I wanted to be alone; and then what I really wanted was for him to insist on being with me. What really matters to me? I'd ask myself. I don't know. What would make me happy? I don't know. Well, what do I want? I just don't know. And that totally freaked me out. I had no clue. There was nothing I was looking forward to. I focused all that on him. I knew I was being horrible to him-- I knew it in the moment and yet I felt powerless to stop it." In October, she had lunch with a friend who told her she had "that happy married glow" and she burst into tears.
There are some things in here that were exactly me when I was going through an episode. I was absolutely awful to my love and there was nothing I could do to stop myself. Everything was always his fault and he could never do anything right in my eyes. I took all of my pain and hurt and misery out on him. I can't believe he stayed. He must really love me, because I honestly don't know if I could have stayed with someone through that. I made him my punching bag and he just took it. Now that we've gotten through that, I think it's made us a stronger couple. It may not be something that he completely understands, but he understands it better. And the next time I have an episode, we will both be prepared to deal with it better. I could not have asked for a better partner in life. He's seen the dark side of me and is still here.
We are currently in the process of patching things up with his friends and family. They got glimpses of how I was when I was dealing with my depression and I have done some damage. They've also heard stories from him about things that I've said and done. We're just hoping that they can all be understanding of what the situation was and that they are willing to get to know the real me. I guess we will have to see. All I can do is put my best foot forward from this day on.
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