I can't believe it's been so long since I've updated! In some ways, I've had a lot going on and in some ways, I've had nothing going on. Let's see if I can gather my thoughts and make a decent, organized entry.
Everything with the band has been going great. We've done a few shows at this point and I'm getting more comfortable as we move along. We're slowly adding new songs to our list as well, so that's a lot of fun. I'm not sure if we'll be adding anything new for the month of June though, because we are going to be crazy busy! It's awesome to see friends out at our shows, too. Trevor has been at every one so far. He's been really supportive and gets along really well with the guys.
I grew up watching my dad play and have always know that there are some weird people that go out to hear music. So it was only a matter of time before I got my own first strange experience. That happened at one of our shows about a month ago. Once the night was completely finished and we were packing everything up, a girl came up to me and complimented me.... at first. She told me that she loved my voice and that I sounded like Amy Lee. I will take that comparison any day because that's amazing. She also told me how beautiful I was.... but (as she started playing with my hair) this fake blonde shit has to go. She said the blonde was doing nothing for me and didn't draw enough attention. She continued on and told me that I needed to lose my glasses, I needed to show more skin and be more sexy and I also needed to get a heavily padded bra since I have small boobs. She hated what I was wearing. This whole time, all I could really do was smile at her. She didn't offend me one bit and I have to say that that's a great feeling. Everyone is allowed to have their opinions and I just simply didn't agree with hers. I'm not sure if it has something to do with me getting older and just being comfortable in my skin, but I just wasn't offended or angry by anything that she said. Apparently, this was incredibly shocking to Trevor, who was really pissed. In a way, that was really nice because I knew that he just didn't want her to hurt my feelings and he thought she was being really rude. She was drunk and probably didn't even remember any of it the next day. The best part for me was when my friend Sarah marched up to us, stood next to me and put her arm around me and said, "I think she's beautiful just the way she is and I don't think she needs to change a thing. I love her the way she is." That right there is one reason why she is one of my best friends. She always has my back. I'm sure there will be many more strange experiences for me in the future.
Other than the band and music, my biggest hobby has been reading and buying books. I can't believe this wasn't always a huge hobby of mine, but I love it so much now. I just wish I could get Trevor to love reading as much as I do. Any time he sits down to read, he ends up falling asleep shortly after. I have to take a lot of breaks because I have a hard time sitting still, but I've been reading quite a bit. I've been keeping a reading journal to keep track of everything I read throughout each month. I think it'll be interesting to look back on someday. It will be amazing when I have a notebook completely filled with things that I've read.
Lately, Trevor and I have been a bit obsessed with babies. We both want one really badly and it's been getting me down occasionally. Our second baby would be due in 8 days. It's crazy to think about. The first baby would be 9 months old now, which is even crazier. A couple months ago, I thought that maybe we had gotten pregnant again, but I ended up being wrong. If I didn't hate my period before, I definitely hate it now. It's just a sign that something we want so badly isn't happening yet. We kind of assumed that once we really started trying, it wouldn't happen right away for us. I just hope it happens soon. I want to be a mommy so badly. I know Trevor is ready too. Hopefully it will happen for us. We just need to start hanging out with our friends that have babies so we can get our baby fix. Any volunteers? :)
Friday, June 12, 2015
Monday, February 16, 2015
New Beginnings
Trevor and I have been through quite a bit through this past year. Break-ups, getting back together, 2 miscarriages, getting married, a job change for Trevor... the list goes on. What I wanted was to start this new year off on the right foot with a positive attitude. I feel that I am doing fairly well at this and I believe it has opened up some amazing things for me.
First off, at the beginning of this year, I auditioned for a band and was chosen to be their lead singer. I have incredibly terrible stage fright so while this was an exciting change, it also terrifies me. The guys have been amazing and incredibly understanding. I feel very comfortable with them and they have truly helped me move slightly past the anxiety I originally felt. Don't get me wrong, I still have a very, very long way to go, but I'm finally at the point in my life where I feel I have to try. I may be nervous, but I'm so excited to finally get the opportunity to do what I love with some awesome people who back me up 100% and believe in me. I couldn't ask for more. The name of our band is Pretty Rage, which I think is bad ass. We are just getting started and adding a ton of new songs, so there's a lot of work ahead of us. We did an open mic night a couple weeks back, so there are a few videos from that. Those can be viewed on our YouTube channel. We also have a Facebook page so feel free to check us out there as well.
Trevor and I are entering our 3rd month of marriage and I can honestly say that I've never felt happier or more content. While as far as our relationship goes, things haven't really changed since getting married, but I think we've laughed and loved harder since that day. Almost every night that he's here, we laugh until there are tears running down my face. We annoy each other like crazy, but can usually get over that a few minutes later and be laughing again. I've found my match and he is amazing. He makes me comfortable, he spoils me, he believes in me and most of all, he loves me through the good and the bad. No matter what it is, we pull through and I have faith that that will continue through the years.
Today marks 4 years since Casey's passing. Unfortunately, I won't have Trevor with me today, so I will probably just snuggle up with Mowgli and Piper. I'm not sure how hard today will be for me. The last few years, this day has been pretty miserable. Maybe I will look through her pictures, think of fond memories and just be thankful for the wonderful friend I had for 15 years. Even just typing that, I've begun to cry, so I'm sure it will be an emotional day. I still miss her like crazy and I don't think that will ever stop. I'm just happy that I had the chance to love and be loved by the sweetest little girl.
My birthday, the 18th, also marks an unhappy event. This will be a year since our first miscarriage. I can't believe it's been a year. Again, I am going to try to look at things in a positive light. Trevor and I will be blessed with the children we are meant to have someday. We just have to be patient. For the time being, I am completely happy with my little fur babies. They fill my days with happiness and constantly make me smile. There's nothing better.
This coming weekend, Trevor is taking me to Chicago for my birthday. We are going to walk around a bunch of shops and just spend some good, quality time together away from everything. I can't wait! We have plans to go to a few bookstores there, so that's what I'm really ready for! Auditions for The Voice are on Sunday in Chicago, and while I have already signed up, we are coming home on Saturday at some point. It just doesn't seem like a huge deal to me at this point, although I'm pretty sure I would die if I got to see Christina Aguilera. I finally have a band and have that musical outlet that I need. I feel as though that's enough for now.
Here's to an exciting new year.
Here's to an amazing husband and a happy marriage.
Here's to those I've lost, those I love and those I will love in the future. (Don't worry Trevor. I'm referring to future babies and fur babies.)
Here's to new adventures with new friends.
Here's to spending more time with old friends.
Here's to being happy and making those around you happy.
Here's to us.
First off, at the beginning of this year, I auditioned for a band and was chosen to be their lead singer. I have incredibly terrible stage fright so while this was an exciting change, it also terrifies me. The guys have been amazing and incredibly understanding. I feel very comfortable with them and they have truly helped me move slightly past the anxiety I originally felt. Don't get me wrong, I still have a very, very long way to go, but I'm finally at the point in my life where I feel I have to try. I may be nervous, but I'm so excited to finally get the opportunity to do what I love with some awesome people who back me up 100% and believe in me. I couldn't ask for more. The name of our band is Pretty Rage, which I think is bad ass. We are just getting started and adding a ton of new songs, so there's a lot of work ahead of us. We did an open mic night a couple weeks back, so there are a few videos from that. Those can be viewed on our YouTube channel. We also have a Facebook page so feel free to check us out there as well.
Trevor and I are entering our 3rd month of marriage and I can honestly say that I've never felt happier or more content. While as far as our relationship goes, things haven't really changed since getting married, but I think we've laughed and loved harder since that day. Almost every night that he's here, we laugh until there are tears running down my face. We annoy each other like crazy, but can usually get over that a few minutes later and be laughing again. I've found my match and he is amazing. He makes me comfortable, he spoils me, he believes in me and most of all, he loves me through the good and the bad. No matter what it is, we pull through and I have faith that that will continue through the years.
Today marks 4 years since Casey's passing. Unfortunately, I won't have Trevor with me today, so I will probably just snuggle up with Mowgli and Piper. I'm not sure how hard today will be for me. The last few years, this day has been pretty miserable. Maybe I will look through her pictures, think of fond memories and just be thankful for the wonderful friend I had for 15 years. Even just typing that, I've begun to cry, so I'm sure it will be an emotional day. I still miss her like crazy and I don't think that will ever stop. I'm just happy that I had the chance to love and be loved by the sweetest little girl.
My birthday, the 18th, also marks an unhappy event. This will be a year since our first miscarriage. I can't believe it's been a year. Again, I am going to try to look at things in a positive light. Trevor and I will be blessed with the children we are meant to have someday. We just have to be patient. For the time being, I am completely happy with my little fur babies. They fill my days with happiness and constantly make me smile. There's nothing better.
This coming weekend, Trevor is taking me to Chicago for my birthday. We are going to walk around a bunch of shops and just spend some good, quality time together away from everything. I can't wait! We have plans to go to a few bookstores there, so that's what I'm really ready for! Auditions for The Voice are on Sunday in Chicago, and while I have already signed up, we are coming home on Saturday at some point. It just doesn't seem like a huge deal to me at this point, although I'm pretty sure I would die if I got to see Christina Aguilera. I finally have a band and have that musical outlet that I need. I feel as though that's enough for now.
Here's to an exciting new year.
Here's to an amazing husband and a happy marriage.
Here's to those I've lost, those I love and those I will love in the future. (Don't worry Trevor. I'm referring to future babies and fur babies.)
Here's to new adventures with new friends.
Here's to spending more time with old friends.
Here's to being happy and making those around you happy.
Here's to us.
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