First off, at the beginning of this year, I auditioned for a band and was chosen to be their lead singer. I have incredibly terrible stage fright so while this was an exciting change, it also terrifies me. The guys have been amazing and incredibly understanding. I feel very comfortable with them and they have truly helped me move slightly past the anxiety I originally felt. Don't get me wrong, I still have a very, very long way to go, but I'm finally at the point in my life where I feel I have to try. I may be nervous, but I'm so excited to finally get the opportunity to do what I love with some awesome people who back me up 100% and believe in me. I couldn't ask for more. The name of our band is Pretty Rage, which I think is bad ass. We are just getting started and adding a ton of new songs, so there's a lot of work ahead of us. We did an open mic night a couple weeks back, so there are a few videos from that. Those can be viewed on our YouTube channel. We also have a Facebook page so feel free to check us out there as well.
Trevor and I are entering our 3rd month of marriage and I can honestly say that I've never felt happier or more content. While as far as our relationship goes, things haven't really changed since getting married, but I think we've laughed and loved harder since that day. Almost every night that he's here, we laugh until there are tears running down my face. We annoy each other like crazy, but can usually get over that a few minutes later and be laughing again. I've found my match and he is amazing. He makes me comfortable, he spoils me, he believes in me and most of all, he loves me through the good and the bad. No matter what it is, we pull through and I have faith that that will continue through the years.
Today marks 4 years since Casey's passing. Unfortunately, I won't have Trevor with me today, so I will probably just snuggle up with Mowgli and Piper. I'm not sure how hard today will be for me. The last few years, this day has been pretty miserable. Maybe I will look through her pictures, think of fond memories and just be thankful for the wonderful friend I had for 15 years. Even just typing that, I've begun to cry, so I'm sure it will be an emotional day. I still miss her like crazy and I don't think that will ever stop. I'm just happy that I had the chance to love and be loved by the sweetest little girl.
My birthday, the 18th, also marks an unhappy event. This will be a year since our first miscarriage. I can't believe it's been a year. Again, I am going to try to look at things in a positive light. Trevor and I will be blessed with the children we are meant to have someday. We just have to be patient. For the time being, I am completely happy with my little fur babies. They fill my days with happiness and constantly make me smile. There's nothing better.
This coming weekend, Trevor is taking me to Chicago for my birthday. We are going to walk around a bunch of shops and just spend some good, quality time together away from everything. I can't wait! We have plans to go to a few bookstores there, so that's what I'm really ready for! Auditions for The Voice are on Sunday in Chicago, and while I have already signed up, we are coming home on Saturday at some point. It just doesn't seem like a huge deal to me at this point, although I'm pretty sure I would die if I got to see Christina Aguilera. I finally have a band and have that musical outlet that I need. I feel as though that's enough for now.
Here's to an exciting new year.
Here's to an amazing husband and a happy marriage.
Here's to those I've lost, those I love and those I will love in the future. (Don't worry Trevor. I'm referring to future babies and fur babies.)
Here's to new adventures with new friends.
Here's to spending more time with old friends.
Here's to being happy and making those around you happy.
Here's to us.
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